Just the Right Amount of Racism

A couple of Rappers from the Hip Hop community have banded together to bring us a Public Service Announcement on the Evils of rappers acting like a bunch of Boneheaded Idiots.

Nick Cannon, Nas and Affion have come together to produce this video in which they parody what they believe Hip Hop will become if things don't change.

Now... I think that this is about the most racist thing I have seen in quite a long time. . . And I think it’s completely awesome!

You see, these “rappers” tried to think of the most extreme way to portray the Pinnacle of where rap will end up if other rappers keep going down the same path that they are heading down now. Dancing Jigs for “The Man” and singing about Watermelon.

But I think that it’s not that far from the reality of what is being played out in Rap videos right fucking now.

When I was a bit younger I used to listen to Rap and Hip Hop quite a bit. My best friend at the time, Captain Hatred (who is Black if you haven't noticed) turned me on to it back in the 80's when it was up and coming. Before that I primarily listened to Hardcore Heavy Metal like Megadeth. But after good ‘ol Captain Hatred got me to open my mind and listen to some Old School Rap (that was "New" then)… I was a changed man.

I used to wear my black Pittsburg Pirates hat backwards and my thick black framed Sunglasses while we cruised in my fire-engine red, '72 Nova with the boom-box blaring on the seat in between us.

Some of my favorites were Slick Rick, The Beastie Boys, MC Search and 3rd Base, Tu-Pac and many more of those old school rappers who really knew how to throw a story down along to a really Hoppin’ beat.

Then, being a young angry teenager growing up in the Hood, I picked up Rappers like Eric B & Rakim (Juice is one of the greatest songs ever made), and guys like Ice-T and Ice-Cube and Big Daddy Kane.

I really took to the angry rap style but I still listened to Hip Hop like Sir-Mix-A-Lot and the guys who rode the edge like Snoop Dogg and Warren G. Even though all the styles were different, the stories were pretty much the same, growing up in the hood, dealing with hard time and diversity...

The only major difference was whether the story was about the good times or the bad times.

But this SHIT Rap that they play today makes my fucking ears bleed like Chekov on Ceti Alpha IV.

It is nothing other than “sampled” beats or completely stolen songs with some asshole yelling over the top of it… all the while he dances like an epileptic on roller skates on his dumbass music video.

Rap used to be about surviving, about being poor and doing what you had to do to get along.

Now it’s nothing more than over-the-top BRAGGING about how much money they've got or how much Gold & Diamonds they have draped around their fucking necks or strapped to their fucking teeth.

They prance around with their hat on sideways with the fucking tag dangling off the side and their God-Damned pants hanging down around their ass.

NOBODY WANTS TO SEE YOUR ASS!

Do you know how Fucking Redicules you motherfuckers look!?

You know, let me go off here for a second... that style of hanging your pants down around the top of your legs with your ass hanging out came from PRISON.

It meant that you were "Taken"... you were somebody’s bitch!

It meant that your stretched out asshole belonged to some other big motherfucker who butt-fucked you on a regular basis and you were PROUD of that shit!

Now, back to the Meat & Potatoes… what is passing for Rap now-a-days isn't anything more than a bunch of stereotypical ass-clowns jumping around like idiots and bragging about how much money and pussy they have... when in reality... they haven’t got shit. The corporate companies that own the record labels are the ones that are raking in all the cash and all the Diamonds and Platinum chains and Benz’s and Beamers and Boats are ALL RENTED for the video! A rapper receives about 1/100^th of what he makes for his record label.

I can remember Q-Tip saying that when he first cut a deal for his first album the record company wrote him a check for One Million Dollars. He was the happiest man in the world until he found out that that “Deal” that he signed stated that he had to pay for ALL Production Cost, Studio time, Recording cost, Sampling fees and any back-up help that he had on the album all came out of his pocket. When it was all said and done, his first album was released and he was sleeping on the couch at his momma’s house because he was flat broke.

The funny thing about this scenario is that a lot of regular black youths spend ridicules amounts of money on Chains and Grills and a purple Hooptie with Spinners so that they can be “Pimped out” like their favorite rappers… meanwhile they have no electricity in their section 8 duplex and their baby is wearing last week’s pampers. But that’s the “Thug Life” that they “Chose” to live. I have also seen this happen with white boys… but, in their case, ignoramus parents usually front the money so that junior can have some “Street Cred”.

I think it’s great that these few rappers have banded together to produce this video to try to take back Hip Hop from these assholes who are giving Black People a bad name.

I mean, let’s face reality for a second here...

Stereotypes or around for a reason…

If a majority of a certain race didn't fit that particular stereotype to a fucking "T" then there wouldn't be a Stereotype in the first place. If it looks like a dog and it walks like a dog and it barks like a dog… it’s probably a fucking dog. So don’t get mad at people who shy away because they have been “Bitten” by a dog or two in the past.

I live in the worse part of the hood. It’s like a fucking Warzone most of the time. You have to always be on your guard... and why? Because even though there are plenty of Good people that live here as well, you can’t tell the good ones from the bad ones when they are walking down the street and it’s better to be safe than sorry.

When I was younger, in two separate occasions I was jumped and severely beaten by gangs of black guys because I was white and they felt I was in the wrong neighborhood. I grew up in that neighborhood… I was there before they were. But that didn’t matter to them. But you know its okay… I can take a beating from a few dozen guys like a Man and stand up and walk away when it’s done. Fucking Pussies. I fight alone.

And you know…I don't mind being stereotyped because I fit into the "White Guy" stereotype... I do weird shit like wear a wrestling mask and go online to Blog about things that piss me off... I listen to the band Cake and I like Yellow Cake.

I love Mayonnaise. I drive a pick-up truck and sometimes, when I'm in the right mood, I listen to Country music or Heavy Metal or Alternative.

I wear a belt, although I don't tuck my shirt into my pants, and my belt remains around my waist where it’s supposed to be.

I'm just trying to make a point here that if you don't want people to look at you like you are a part of that "Bad Stereotype" then don't do the things that throw up those Red flags that everyone else recognize as stereotypical.

And this isn't just a Black or White thing... this encompasses ALL RACES.

I like black people... but God-damn it... Stupidity is not part of your "Culture"! It’s part of the Rap community’s way of keeping people down and dumb and living in the hood so they continue to buy their idiotic products. Get a fucking clue and get a fucking education and get the fuck out!

- ICE-T: Escape from the Killing Fields –

Shut up do you know
How dumb you sound?
That mentality
What keeps my people down
No one wants to
Live in an urban war
You live there cause
Your parents were poor
They live there because
Theirs were also
Get yourself together
Hit the gates bro!

I will leave you with this video to think about. A Dr. Death P.S.A.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra is going to be a giant suck-fest of Biblical proportions.

The only people who are going to enjoy this movie are the mindless sheep who can’t properly form an honest opinion of their own and are easily mesmerized by shiny things. Explosions, car-chases and gunfights, while amusing in their own right… are not enough to make a movie good. These sorts of things shouldn’t be plot points, but instead actions or tools to help push a point or set in motion the protagonists when there isn’t much else to go on. But when the entire movie is nothing more than explosions, car-chases and gunfights… mixed with a little comedic relief from some jive talkin’ black comedian that failed to be funny even in his own shitty movies… we have a problem.

Most of these action movies today have stripped away any meaningful plot and just go primarily for the shiny trinkets and slow motion explosions.

Marlon Wayans falling down and grabbing his crotch and failing at hitting on white women are NOT examples of comedy OR anything I want to associate with the characters that I fell in love with as a child.

This is NOT G.I. Joe... this is C.G.I. Joe… and it blows!

My first encounter with G.I. Joe was when I was four years old. Our house burned to the ground due to faulty wiring and my poor mother and I was left with only the clothes on our backs. Being 4 and toyless, my grandparents bought me a 12 inch G.I. Joe. He came with an olive drab jumpsuit, combat boots, shotgun, binoculars and a full beard. It was Simple and 100% awesomeness, as far as I’m concerned.

When I was just a kid back in junior high I was sitting at the table in the lunchroom when this kid across from me got up and left. After he was gone I noticed that laying on the table where he had been sitting was a comic book that he had folded in half. (Yes, kids used to fold them in half and shove them in their back-pockets) So anyway, I picked it up and unfolded it… it was G.I. Joe number 21. I will never forget that because not only was it the first comic-book I had ever picked up, but it was absolutely the coolest thing I had ever seen. Issue #21 had absolutely no words in it whatsoever. Absolutely awesome! I immediately went out and blew all my hard earned allowance on ALL the back issues I could puzzle together.

You see… G.I. Joe from the comic books used real guns and real bullets. Shit got blown up, people got killed! It was like LOST and Full Metal Jacket mixed into one. It was, after all, about the U.S. Military's answer to an American terrorist organization that was hidden among the normal suburban citizens. It had an incredible storyline that kept you riveted and I was at the comic-book store every weekend like a crack addict with scuffed knees and a handful of five dollar bills.

Then the Cartoon came out.

It was like a watered down version of the comic-book. G.I. Joe was always running around trying to thwart cobra from taking over the World. Red and Blue lasers were blasting everywhere, things were exploding and nobody EVER got hurt. It was mostly lame with a dose of cool thrown in for flavor every once in a while.

Now shit has escalated into a mutated shitty ghost of what G.I. Joe once was. It’s no wonder I am super-duper pissed about this atrocity.

The G.I. Joe I learned to love was about a group of individual military specialist that was banded together to fight an Evil terrorist organization bent on ruling the world. This movie is about a bunch of assholes in Robo-suits… jumping around like a bunch of Kansas City Faggots and I couldn’t give less of a shit about them. They all look exactly alike all decked out in their full-body leather and armor jumpsuits. WHAT THE FUCK IS UP with HOLLYWOOD and BLACK LEATHER JUMPSIUTS!?

It’s like the directors asked “What was popular last year?”

Then the brainstorming began…

Dumbass #1 - “Um…Batman?”

Dumbass #2 - “Ooh ooh, Iron Man!”

Dumbass #3 - “How about Spiderman?!”

So the Director said “Okay… let’s cram all that shit into one movie and we’ll go with that.”

So now, instead of the G.I. Joe that we remember… we get guys in Batman suits putting on Iron-man armor and jumping around like Spiderman in slow motion, while shit blows up around them, all while they all continuously yell “Whooooo Hoooo!”.

Utterly ridicules and I’m sick as hell of it.

And just what the fuck is an Accelerator Suit anyway? How the fuck is that bullshit supposed to work? You would have to be a complete bumbling idiot to even start to think that a big metal suit with metal moving parts would actually make you somehow move faster and allow you to jump around like that! This is a big bag of ass to the highest degree.

Stormshadow is just some Asian dude in a white suit who kicks in doors in broad daylight and fires off bazookas in front of a crowd of onlookers… not very ninja-like.

Snake-eyes is wearing a rubber suit and Dockers!

Where the fuck is Destro's Silver Mask?

Where the hell is Roadblock? I want a big black bald brother blasting a Browning 50 caliber! Not some short dude in another black jumpsiut with a minigun called "Heavy-Duty"!

And what the fuck happened to the Baroness' eyeglasses and European accent? THATS WHAT MADE HER SO FUCKING HOT!

And could somebody PLEASE explain to me why in the blue Hell the producers somehow thought that Cobra Commander's Blank Silver Mask or his Hood was somehow TOO SCARY for people to deal with (even though it was fine for TV and Comic-books)… yet, they opted for THIS SHIT!???

This is going to be one of the shittiest movies to ever hit the big screen…

And you stupid Zombies are going to LOVE IT!

Yo Joe!