Heath Ledger was a shitty Joker and I’m glad he’s Dead.

I am so fucking sick of hearing about how incredible Heath Ledger was as the Joker in The Dark Knight.

He was not that good. You as a collective of consumers have been brainwashed into believing that he was absolutely the end-all, be-all of actors and that no one else could act like him. Some people were even trying to get the role of the Joker banned by any other actor because they believed that no one else could EVER do it as good… Bullshit.

He was okay at best. He made a few good movies. 10 Things I Hate About You… and, A Knight’s Tale being the only two I thought was even worth watching. Most of his other movies were boring and lifeless, just like his rotting corpse. Everybody goes on and on about Brokeback Mountain… fuck that. A gay cowboy movie never should have been made in the first place. Nobody but other gay men want to watch a fucking cowboy spit in his hand and slap in another man’s hairy asshole. John Wayne is spinning in his grave like a fucking dynamo at the thought of that shit.

And as far as his role as the Joker in The Dark Knight goes? It was Mediocre at best.

Jack Nicolson was so much better as the Joker in Batman that comparing the two makes me want to dig up Heath just so I can punch the worms out of his hollowed out skull. If you ask Jack about his role as the Joker he will look at you like you shit in his dinner plate and then asked him to sign it for you. Why, because as an actor, he has done at least a dozen other films that he wants people to remember him by. Just look his name up on IMDB to see a list of all the incredible movies that he has starred in. Playing the Joker was a Low Point in his Career. Just ask him... he will tell you if he doesn't smash your face in.

Cesar Romero made an Awesome fucking Joker! He was off his rocker in that old batman show… that’s how the Joker is supposed to be. Not a dark and quiet, brooding Emo. Hell, Mark Hamill’s voice made a much more convincing character as the Joker in the Batman Cartoon Series.

All this on top of the fact that I keep hearing people go on about the “Tragedy” of his death. Look here you idiots… it’s not a tragedy when a drug-addict offs himself… it’s a fucking blessing. One less scumbag piece of shit drug-addict in this world is a good thing.

Just because he was a movie actor... doesn’t mean that he was afflicted by some horrible disease that was beyond his control. No. He likes to get fucked up and he paid the price. Get over it. When the crack head that lives in the ally OD’s and dies with a load of shit in his pants behind a dumpster, nobody gives a fuck… so why does everybody turn this guy into a fucking HERO? Fuck Him. But for some reason this happens every time an actor dies just before he releases a movie. Anybody remember James Dean?

Besides… if he would have lived, that movie wouldn’t have made a quarter of the profits that it did. But EVERYBODY had to go see the last performance of the hero actor who’s brooding suicidal tendencies supposedly showed through into his role as the Joker.

What the fuck ever. If you ask me he was just TRYING to act like Jack Nicolson. People just like to rubber neck… like seeing a dead body on the side of the road in an accident. Same fucking Thing.

It’s a good thing he’s dead… otherwise they would have wanted to make another shitty Batman movie with the famous Joker. Or Worse… Brokeback Mountain II.

The New Dark Knight Movie SUCKS

Anyone who knows me very well at all knows that batman is a touchy subject with me. Batman was, and still is, my favorite hero from the comic books. Hell, he's the one that made me start wearing the Mask. . .

But there are two Dark knights out there…

There’s the one that I grew up reading about in Detective Comics and then there’s the one that they put in the movies now-a-days.

The Batman that they have in movies now relies on his money… and that’s just plain bullshit. He relies on bulletproof armor and high tech gadgets built by someone else. He has others do most of his detective work for him and uses his millions to make Bruce Wayne look like a prick. And for some reason, just being bad-ass Batman isn’t enough… they had to make him more like faggy ass Superman.


In the beginning of the Dark Knight Movie, a guy comes at Batman with a Rifle and Batman grabs the rifle barrel with one hand and bends it into a U.

Now, two factors have to be in play here.
1. Batman has to have Super-strength.
2. The bad guy has to have Super-strength.
Why is this you ask?
…because, batman need Super-strength to bend the barrel and the Bad guy needs Super-strength to hold onto the rifle while batman bends it… otherwise the rifle would have just been ripped right out of his grip.

Right after this scene, Batman Karate-chops through the side of a Van, gets knocked off onto a cinder-block wall at 60 mph and then jumps down 16 stories and lands on a moving Van… CRUSHING it under his weight, yet he is completely unharmed… accept for the bullet wound in his arm. By the end of the movie they have used some sort of unexplained sonar-based cell-phone technology that allows Batman to see everything all at once like the Dare-Devil.

His suit is so armored he can’t move his neck. This is just an updated version of the old Batman movie costume that was made of rubber and came equipped with a programmable remote-control Batarang, extending spatula of doom that shoots out of his wrist so he doesn’t actually have to punch someone and… Bat-Nipples.
Why don’t we just get Adam West back in the suit and get it over with.

The Batman I grew to love came from Detective Comic.
This is so because he was a DETECTIVE who spent years and years learning Martial arts, Forensics, Escape-artists techniques and he put on the Suit to strike fear into thugs in the middle of the night and retain his anonymity.

The Bat-Suit wasn’t bulletproof; it was more like Special Forces Sweater material and some leather. It was light-weight so he could move. Batman ran and jumped and swung from Grappling hooks. He dodged gun fire at close range and used subterfuge and trickery to avoid getting into situations that he couldn’t handle one-on-one. And when he did get close to the bad guys he fought using several different forms of Martial-Arts… he broke bones, he fucked guys up… he made

people fear him. Mob bosses would Shit their pants at the mere sight of his shadow.

His Utility Belt didn’t have stupid shit like Shark-Repellent or a Bat-Shield… no.
His Utility belt had shit that used for his subterfuge and detective work. Like smoke bombs, tweezers and veils, tracking devises and a fingerprinting kit. He had a Super Computer in the Bat-cave where he did all his research and the Batmobile was a Lamborghini with some small modification.

The Batman that I grew up loving was a Bad-ass. He hung with other super-powered Superheroes even though he was just a regular man. He was supposed to embody what a normal person could do if they really put their heart and soul into something. He was looked upon as a criminal at first, a vigilante who played by his own rules. He was the batman… Bruce Wayne was his alter ego.
He even Kicked the Shit out of Superman on several occasions.

I really kind of hate what they have done to my beloved Batman in today’s movies. And I think the only reason that they do it is because they think that’s all we will like and believe. That a guy couldn’t be such a bad-ass without a billion dollar armored super-suit. Bullshit! I want Batman back, not Iron-man in a black cape.

You think they can’t do it… watch this video from “The Protector”.

This is how Batman is supposed to fight and move… For God’s Sake, put this guy in a Sweater-type Batman Suit and let’s have a Real Movie about The Dark Knight Detective!
Fuck you Hollywood.

Lindsay Lohan doesn’t know shit about movies

Linsay Lohan used to be cute. She was a spunky little up-and-coming red-headed hottie that wanted to do wholesome movies. So… enter Disney. Disney put her in a few cute movies and got the ball rolling. A few remakes of older Disney movies like the Parent Trap and Freaky Friday… no big whoop.

Disney places her as a new kid star and she is on her way to being an actual actress like many other people who got their big break with a huge name like Disney… The World is her Oyster.

So then she does a couple of the obligatory teen chick-flicks. Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen and Mean Girls only furthered her hotness. Mean Girls was even actually pretty funny, in a cutesy, girl-movie sort of way. (Not that I watch that sort of thing normally). Then she was on That 70’s Show and all of a sudden she was smokin’ hot! And then to make matters worse (or better, depending on how you look at it)… BANG, the booby fairy visited.

When she was in Herbie: Fully Loaded… Disney actually chose to digitally reduce her full natural boobs because they thought that it was just a bit too much for a girl to have tits for some unknown (and mentally retarded) reason. Then she started hanging out with all the other teenage starlets and the excessive partying began.

The next thing you know… she’s getting plastic surgery and she’s getting a boob-job. Why in the FUCK do these cute girls who have a natural beauty and feminine curves think that they need to get implants and collagen and diet until they look like a fucking Barbie doll?!? It truly sickens me. She went from being a cute/hot girl-next-door to a hollywood Skank faster than a haunted VW bug in a race for its dignity.

Now all of a sudden I can’t turn on my super-computer without seeing her tits falling out of her shirt or a full blown shot of her snizz on display for the world to see. Whatever happened to common decency? Hey, bitch… you’re going to a big movie premier where there will be hundreds of cameras and paparazzi… maybe you might want to throw on a pair of fucking panties! The World can see your Oyster!

Now I’m not saying that I don’t like snizz… I Love snizz, but I am tired of seeing these stupid celebrity harlots flashing their worn-out goods every time they get in and out of a fucking car.

Wear some god-damned underwear like the rest of the World!

So then these underwear deficient party girls need some extra cash for their alcohol fueled coke-binges and they decide that since their so good a shopping for clothes… they should design and sell them. What-the-fuck-ever. And when that doesn’t make enough dead Presidents for them to pay for rehab they come out with a new “Scent”. Smells like horse-shit to me.

But NOW… Lindsay Lohan has decided that she want to MAKE MOVIES!

As in being a PRODUCER with her very own Production company called “Unforgettable Productions”! Yeash!

I mean… What the flying Fuck does Lindsay Lohan know about producing movies? She can’t even keep her snizz under wraps for a weekend.

They say that she is already working on a Faux-Reality Show and a Dating Show. Really… ? Like we NEED any more of this SHIT?!

What the fuck are we in for next?

Production Manager on the phone: “Well Lindsay, what do you want to delve into this week?”

Lindsay Lohan with a bottle of Gin in her hand and a cocaine mustache: “Um, I don’t know… let make like a like remake of that like show that like everybody loved… that they like.. played as movies all out of order and stuff… oh, um whachamacallit… Star Wars?! Yaa… call Paris.”

Shoot me now…

Just Quit it Lindsay.