Avatar can Suck it as far as popularity goes!

I am so sick of everyone saying that AVATAR is the greatest movie of all time or that it is the most successful movie of all time, based solely on Gross money made.

Yes... Avatar has broken the one Billion dollar boundary... but I say its mostly because tickets cost $11.50 a pop now. $16.60 if you go to the IMAX 3D showing.

I have always been a huge Star Wars fan and to hear people say that the shit-eating Avatar movie is "more popular than Star Wars ever was" is a God-Damned Blasphemy!

Star Wars... as well as many other movies have and will stand the test of time when it comes to TICKET SALES!... actual asses in seats... not just how much fucking money a movie made.

Here is the TOP 25 Movies based on TICKET SALES..

1. "Gone With the Wind" (1939) 202,044,600

2. "Star Wars" (1977) 178,119,600

3. "The Sound of Music" (1965) 142,415,400

4. "E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial" (1982) 141,854,300

5. "The Ten Commandments" (1956) 131,000,000

6. "Titanic" (1997) 128,345,900

7. "Jaws" (1975) 128,078,800

8. "Doctor Zhivago" (1965) 124,135,500

9. "The Exorcist" (1973) 110,568,700

10. "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs" (1937) 109,000,000

11 "101 Dalmatians" (1961) 99,917,300

12. "The Empire Strikes Back" (1980) 98,180,600

13. "Ben-Hur" (1959) 98,000,000

14. "Return of the Jedi" (1983) 94,059,400

15. "The Sting" (1973) 89,142,900

16. "Raiders of the Lost Ark" (1981) 88,141,900

17. "Jurassic Park" (1993) 86,205,800

18. "The Graduate" (1967) 85,571,400

19. "Star Wars: Episode I" (1999) 84,825,800

20. "Fantasia" (1941) 83,043,500

"Avatar," despite topping the worldwide gross list, by and by, is only No. 26 on the ticket sales list with 76,421,000 sold.

So suck it Avatar...

Thank you Captain Obvious!

So about a week and a half ago, the Water Heater decided to hemorrhage and flood half the house with about an inch of water... everything touching the floor was ruined. MY computer was fine except for the Battery backup/Surge protector and the power converter to the Brighthouse modem.

Okay.. so I finally get my room all cleaned out and got a bus load of shit thrown away.... so it was time to deal with Brighthouse because the power converter got wet and the modem is DEAD...

So I call them up and spend twenty minutes on hold until I can finally convince Robby the fucking Robot that I really do need to talk to a fucking Human Being. So some tool finally chimes in with the regular voice of incandescent doom. Keep in mind that I KNOW that my modem is Fried because the little transformer got wet in the mini-flood, But I'm not going to tell this asshole that.

The conversation goes as following.

Joe: (we'll call him)... Hello?

Me: Hello? (long pause)... Hello?

Joe:Um yea, My name is Joe and I will be helping you today... What can I do for you?

Me: Hi Joe... I am having a problem with my internet connection.

Joe: I just need your name and address...

Me: (Gives him all my info)

Joe: Okay, what exactly is the problem?

Me: Well, I cannot receive a signal through the cable because my modem is dead.

Joe: (click click typety type) Um'Hmm? Is the box lit up?

Me: no, its dead... completely dead.

Joe: Are ANY of the lights lit up?

Me: No Joe... its DEAD... D.E.A.D. as in not amongst the living.

Joe: Is it plugged in?

Me: Yes, its plugged in, and before you go into the next question on your monitor there Joe let me explain to you that I actually worked for America Online as a Computer Repair Technician and have a background in computers. I have gone through ALL the necessary steps to confirm that it isn't an electrical problem. The computer works fine and everything is in 100% compliance. The ONLY thing that isn't working is the Modem... It is Completely Dead. I just need a new modem.

Joe: Are you sure its plugged in, because it needs power to operate.

Me: Yea, Joe... its plugged in.

Joe: Do you have it plugged into the wall?

Me: No, its plugged into a Surge Protector.

Joe: Can you unplug it from the Surge protector and plug it into the wall?

Me: I have already done that, its Still Dead.

Joe: Can you do it again now while I'm on the phone?

Me: Sure, hold on... (Pretends to plug it into the wall)... Okay.... STILL DEAD!

Joe: Hrmmm... seems like the the modem is probably dead.

Me: you think?

Joe: What you're going to need to do is get a new modem. Would you mind driving by one of our stores and picking one up?

Me: Not at all Joe... Where is the closest one to me?

Joe: What is your address?

Me: I told you at the beginning, Joe... It should be on your screen there in front of you. (I tell him again anyway)

Joe: What roads are close to you?

Me: I don't know... Why don't you tell me all the stores in my area.

Joe: Well, there's one at BlahBlah Blah Street and then...

Me: Thats fine, I'll go to that one.

Joe: Do you need to know where the other stores are?

Me: Why?

Joe: ...uhm, would you like to fill out our survey?

Me: I don't think thats a good Idea Joe. Thank you for your Help.

Joe: Is there anything else I can do for you today?

Me: No, Thanks.

CLICK!

After I leave the house, Joe calls back and leaves a message that the area is having cable problems and That could be the issue... (I'm not kidding)

After I exchange the old modem for the new modem, I plug in the new modem... Boom-Lights, Boom-Internet!

Imagine That.

The downfall of society

My wise old grandfather once said that the three most detrimental things that happened to society was.

1. Air conditioning.

2. Television.

3. The Internet.

   
   

Before air-conditioning, people used to go out and do things to get out of the house... this led them to meet others and have conversations. People visited with each other for entertainment. Then when Air-conditioning came along, people started to gather more in places like movie theaters and department stores.

Once television came out, people stopped going out so much. They opted to stay inside and watch their new shows and not only did couples stop gathering together for entertainment, they even stopped talking and spending time with each other in their own homes. Family dinners even took a back-seat to TV dinners.

And then the internet took over. Now no one hardly talks to anyone unless its through electronic methods.

If we keep heading in this same direction, we are going to end up like those poor bastards in Demolition Man.

Ingloirious Basterds was GLORIOUS!

"You probably heard we ain't in the Prisoner takin' business; we in the Nazi killin' business. And cousin, business is a-Boomin'!"


Quentin Tarantino's spaghetti western about Nazi-hunting Jews and Jew-Hunting Nazis is one of the best War films I have seen since Saving Private Ryan.
What Steven Spielberg, did for "Ryan" with the realism and the horrors of WWII, Tarantino did with the Fiction of storytelling of the horrors of mankind itself... it just happened to take place during WWII.

In my younger years I used to chastise Tarantino for "copying" other peoples movies... but as I get older and my artistic views change, I am reminded of an old saying that goes like this: "An Artist doesn't Borrow, He Steals."
And what that means is, that a true artist TAKES something and MAKES it his OWN.
Tarantino did just that with Ingloirious Basterds.


This film was great from beginning to end.
There were parts of this movie where I'm not ashamed to say I was literally wringing my hands in nervousness, trying to figure out what was going to happen next.
You see... I am plagued with intelligence. And being that I am a movie buff, I have seen me a LOT of movies. More movies in fact than anybody else I have ever met. You name the Genre and I have been through it like Mexican food through an English tourist. Love Sci-fi. Love Action. Love Westerns. Love Horror. HATE Musicals. LOVE me some War movies! But I am just sick and tired of the same old Hollywood Crap being shoved down our throats every year, just with bigger budgets, younger stars and More CGI than you can shake a broken Transformer toy at.

Ingloirious Basterds was another Tatantino masterpiece of characters. There were a few characters in the background of the story that I would have liked to know more about, but that only really sweetens the deal. Tarantino, whether you like him or not, is a master at developing a character into someone you can relate to, someone you can understand, someone you can come to care about... before he utterly destroys them.
There was a refreshing amount of special effects in this movie that were NOT CGI.
Mind you that this was in no way a cavalcade of special effects by any means... no. This was a movie about People. Just like Pulp Fiction was a movie about People.

When Quentin Tarantino released Pulp Fiction... myself and everyone I knew at the time was rocked to the core with something earth-shattering that we had never seen before. True characters, that whether they lived or died, stuck in your memory from then on.

Now, I am in no way swinging from Tarantino's ballsack here. I am just saying that as I get older and the more I am riddled with Matrix-CGI-Slow-Mo-Bullshit, the more I can Appreciate a good story with good characters. Great Dialog is something thats missing from American movies now-a-days. Snide remarks, Jaw-dropping explanations, Furious stares, Heads exploding, bullets ripping through people, big knives jammed into peoples skulls... thats just good clean American fun.

I've said it before and I'll say it again... you dont have to have an explosive budget and tons of CGI to make a good movie. If you have good actors, a good director, a good story and a inovative special effects crew, you can make an incredible movie like Tarantino has pulled out of his ass her for us now. I like Tarantino in general, but he has had his ups and downs.


Here's what I think of Tarantino's career thus far.

Reseviour Dogs = Fucking Brilliant!
Pulp Fiction = Changed the Movie industry as we know it; Couldn't be cooler.
His role in Desperado = Priceless.
His segment in Four Rooms = A Rip-off.
His role and Co-directing in From Dusk till Dawn = fan-fucking-tabulous!
Jackie Brown = A Giant piece of fly-covered SHIT.
Kill Bill = Part 1 was Awesome, Part 2... ehh. He blew his load early on that one. If they would have let him edit it his way and shown it as a complete six-hour movie with an intermission in the middle... it would have been a slice of fried gold.
Death Proof = Slow, methodical... but kicked mega-amounts of ass when the action got underway (can't go wrong with the word "Death" in a title.)
Ingloirious Basterds = Rebooting the American movie making industry again.

This movie made me want to bash in the skull of every Nazi I could find. I have always hated Nazis, even though I have some German Heritage in my bloodline... but I am AMERICAN through and through. Both my Grandfathers fought in WWII and survived with incredible stories to tell.
World War II was our Finest hour, where we stood tall in front of the rest of the world and jammed our flag in Adolf Hitler's ass and proclaimed ourselves the BEST.
And Nobody dared to deny it for quite some time.
There should be many more WWII movies made in my personal opinion, the stories and the people who fought in this war were just awe-inspiring, and I just can't get enough Nazi killing in my daily routine.

And Speaking of killing Nazis... Brad Pitt did an amazing acting job in this film as Lt. Aldo Raine: Commander of "The Basterds"... if you ask me. I think he is a very competent actor anyway, but a movie like this is where he can really shine. Carrying that big ass Bowie knife, carving his way across Nazi-occupied France with his band of Jewish Nazi-killers. I loved every second he was on screen.

I give this movie 9 smiley faces ... I would have given it 10 but I think it could have been a little more Violent.

As for the Misspelled Title that everybody is having conniption fit over... well, aside from being a throwback to Lt Raine himself... I think Tarantino did it to fuck with the only real Nazi threat left in this shitty World. . .

The Grammar Nazis.

Zombies are Idiots.

Idiots are Everywhere!

Its like an international plague that the scientists of the world haven't figured out is dangerous yet.

But it is... its a disease and its Incredibly dangerous and its Highly contagious.

Here's a proven Fact: Whenever there is a group of people that get together, they usually LOWER their combined intelligence to that of the lowest common denominator... the idiot.

This is how dangerous things like Riots, Religions and Political Parties begin.

I come into contact with idiots on a daily basis... and quite frankly it sickens me.

They are where I work, they are in the malls, they are in the theaters and the one that scares me the most... they are on the Road! They shouldn't even be allowed to be piloting a two-ton machine, made up of thousands of moving parts that runs on flammable fluids in a series of contained explosions... but there they are, right in front of me with their left turn signal on, coming to a complete stop to Turn RIGHT... with a fucking Rag hanging out of their gas tank because they just couldn't remember to put the cap back on before they left the station!

I wish to God that I had a licence to kill so I could eradicate the world of Idiots!

Sure, there would be a lot less of us around... but the World would be a MUCH better place to live.

Just listen to them talk! Anyone who says "Uhhmmm" before everything they say, is an idiot. They don't know what they are supposed to say next, so they involuntarily utter "Uhhmmm" while their tard-brains do an internal search for the words to use.

It always amazes me when idiots cant figure out the simplest of technology.

Smart people: You know what I'm talking about.

Its that lady at the check-out lane that just cant figure out how the fucking Credit Card machine works. Or the guy who doesn't know how to work his own computer, doesn't even know the difference between a Browser and a Search engine. Or that bitch that cant figure out how to mute her cellphone in the fucking theater.

People always wonder why I have a love for all thing related to Zombies.

Its because, even though most idiots just see zombies as another form of monster... the more intelligent viewer such as I, see them for what they truly are... People.

People who weren't smart enough to survive. People who weren't smart enough to run. You know. . . Idiots.

People who shamble through their shitty mundane lives, day in and day out, doing the same old thing, dragging their feet and muttering "Uuhhmmm?".

They stare at the television for hours on in, watching other people live their shitty mundane lives out in half-hour sitcom fashion. People who love reality TV because it makes them feel SLIGHTLY Smarter than the idiot on TV who is openly weeping like a lost child because his souffle' didn't come out just right and now the angry chef is going to yell at him. Being on TV does NOT make you smart! And shows like "The HILLS" just allow idiots to live vicariously through other idiots who have way to much time and money on their hands. And Sports... people who sit on their couch and complain about how they could have done it better. No... you couldn't... your fat and you get winded opening a bag of Potato Chips.

Its the people who have to rush out to get supplies when the shit hits the fan... if you aren't already prepared... your doomed.

So... I know for a fact that when that first infected person bites that second victim, its the IDIOTS that will cause the rest of the Zombie Apocalypse. People will get bit and they will rush to the hospital, where everyone else who has gotten bitten will try to go. Or they will all pile on the interstate in an attempt to escape, clogging the traffic to a standstill and funneling the carnage.

Its the morons that won't KNOW to destroy the brain or remove the head to kill the zombies that will get bitten after they have emptied an entire clip of ammo into the chests of the oncoming horde of the undead.

Its that dumb bitch that wont shoot her zombified boyfriend because she "Loves him"!

Its the guy who thinks a chainsaw is the ultimate weapon against zombies. Its not you idiot. It heavy, its hard to wield, it easily gets clogged up with wet material and it runs out of gas in about ten minutes. You looked cool for a few minutes before you got ripped to shreds and alerted every other zombie in a ten block radius to our whereabouts... thanks, idiot. Now you are a zombie too and you've doomed us all.

One of the great draws of the Zombie Outbreak scenario is the fact that the smart people will survive by killing the idiots after they have turned into zombies... the fact that they are zombies is realy just a legal matter. You can't be charged with murder if they're already dead. Hence the killer becomes the Hero. So plain and simple even most idiots can understand it. . . sometimes.

Idiocy is a disease, just like zombification, its just Much more dangerous and Much more contagious... it can even be passed on through genetics.

Here is a rule to follow: If your parents are idiots... chances are that you are an idiot too.

You just haven't figured it out yet because of the whole "Being an idiot" thing.

As a matter of fact, idiots are probably MORE Dangerous than zombies because they have the ability to do things like reproduce, get jobs and vote.

So when I'm out in the World, trudging though my daily routines, I imagine all the idiots that I encounter as zombies. If you see me looking at you like you are an idiot... its because you ARE an idiot, and I am sizing you up for the kill when you become a zombie.

I am a survivor.

District 9 : Movie review

District 9 - Official Trailer 2 [HD] (External Embedding Disabled)

My buddy Foxhound and I went to see District 9 on Sunday and I have to say that I was more than pleasantly surprised. As a matter of fact, I couldn't believe how incredibly good it actually was! For a low budget movie (it only cost $30 Million to make) and the help of a great director, they really created something... New!
New and inventiveness is really hard to come by now-a-days, especially since it seems like EVERY movie is a remake or a rehash of an older movie, the original of which was usually better. So its really refreshing to see a story-line that I haven't seen a million times already.


I kind of went into this thinking that it was going to end up being just another flashy alien movie. . . but it was so much more.
It had a really good story that was told in almost... a documentary style during some points. Yes there was some shaky-cam, which I usually hate, but seeing as how those parts were supposed to be a guy holding a camera while crazy shit was happening all around him... it kind of made it work all that much better.
The special effects were Un-fucking-believable and the story was intriguing until the credits ran at the end of the film... and beyond that really.

It did have some political overtones, but they weren't shoved down your throat like a fat, veiny Hollywood cock. They primarily presented you with a situation and let you make up your own mind on the subject.

Also... I absolutely loved the fact that they didn't use any known actors. It really pushes the story along because you don't know what these people are capable of and you don't have any idea who is going to live or die.

Having somebody like Tom Hanks playing the main character would have ruined this movie (not that I don't love Tom Hanks).

I just think that when a popular actor is set as the main character it kind of takes away from the movie itself sometimes because you kind of go into the movie Knowing that no matter what happens... the main character (Mr. Popular) is going to make it to the end and more than likely save the day in some way or another. They always catch the bad guy, they always get the girl and they always save the day in the nick of time... usually with one second left on the bomb.

I'm not always a fan of CGI... mainly, because I think it is way over used in today's movies... but when its used in such a way as to become a tool to help the STORY along, instead of becoming the focus of the movie itself... it can be pretty cool.

The aliens in this movie for example, were all CGI, but because the story was so involved, you pretty much quit thinking about it within the first ten minutes of the film. Even later on in the movie when there were tons of action happening... the CGI and special effects took a back-seat to the storytelling.
The aliens were very believable and acceptable in their 'Conditions".

I give it 9 out of 10 smiley faces.

I would whole-heatedly recommend this movie to everyone... although I wouldn't recommend you take your little kids. Lots of blood and people exploding.

Sweet.

Location, Location, Location

I can't for the life of me figure out why in the hell people chose to live in the path of obvious and imminent natural disasters.

Lets start with those barefoot maniacs who always chose to build their entire civilization at the base of a fucking Volcano. Look... Volcano's erupt. That's what they do. And when they do erupt, they spew millions upon millions upon millions of gallons of molten Magma down the side and it continues outward until it only stops at the cold waters of the Ocean devastating as it goes and encasing every living thing in a stony grave.

This is not News.

This has been going on since the beginning of TIME.

The problem is... people are STILL building their bone-nosed civilizations at the base of active Volcano's.

Why?

Because they are Numbskull's driven by "tradition" and they hold beauty over sensibility.

Take California. . . its known for its natural disasters, such as massive mudslides and devastating earthquakes... yet almost 37 Million nitwits live there... some Right on the biggest fault-line in America. Yet somehow, they are always shocked and bewildered when a major Earthquake strikes and buildings collapse and hundreds or even thousands of people are killed and or injured!

And then here you have these huge cliffs that have massive mudslides of millions of tons of churning Earth that break free and go grinding down the hillside, destroying everything in its path... So lets build some multi-million dollar houses that literally HANG off the side of these cliffs. Its only a matter of time before everything you own is in a shitty pile at the bottom of a cavernous hole in the ground.

And THAT'S if your lucky and you survive the whole stupid ordeal.

Because its not a matter of IF, people... its a matter of WHEN.

Tornado's rip apart the middle of America Every Year and as soon as the carnage and destruction is over... they rebuild. Right in the same fucking place. They call it "Tornado Ally" and their cool with that. These towns have giant warning systems in place that warn the townspeople of oncoming twisters so they can have enough time to duck and cover underground.

Here's a warning for you. TORNADO'S ARE COMING! That's what they do! So either live somewhere where there isn't a constant gay-parade of death and destruction or start building your houses UNDERGROUND!

Look... If you were looking to move into a new house and you found a nice little deal on the corner of Murder Avenue and Arson street and you looked around the neighborhood and all the other houses in that area either had been burnt to the ground or were wardened off with miles of yellow Police tape and blood-soaked chalk outlines. . . wouldn't you think twice?

Probably not... dumbass.

When Hurricane Katrina blasted through New Orleans, people looked upon it as an Act of God... a disaster that couldn't have been stopped. Except for the fact that it ALL could have been avoided if people had just been smart enough NOT to live There!

Some areas of New Orleans were built 27 feet BELOW sea level! The only thing keeping back the ravages of the death-inducing Ocean were a few shoddy levee's built decades ago by the lowest possible bidders. You live in a fucking FISH BOWL with a crack in it assholes! MOVE!

And then afterwards, everyone was like "Oh, what a horrible thing... those poor people."

So the Government swoops in and rounds everybody up and stuffs them into a Super-Dome Stadium and only gives them provisions for half to survive on.

Welcome to THUNDERDOME bitches... now, guess what? You have just entered the Government's very own personal reality show. The first person to collect a hundred pair of dry Nike's wins a Non-Leathal shotgun slug to the face! Go!

New Orleans turned into a Warzone sprinkled with zombie overtones within days of Katrina. Showing that people CAN come together to help each other... but usually only after they've got their fill of Looting. Water? Bitches need FuBu!

Forrest fires, Blizzards, Earthquakes, Floods, Hurricanes, Tornado's, Locusts, Avalanches, Sand-storms, Volcano's, Tsunamis... everywhere you go there is something that can kill you! I understand that Mother Nature is Blond Nordic bitch in a cold Brass Bra with a Chain-Mail Wedgie. . . but God-damn it... don't make it so easy for her to pick you off.

Always remember... location, location, location.